It was a long and cold night and I needed a good night's sleep. I climbed in to the military cot around 10:00pm and after waking up an hour later unable to move my neck and shivering like a wet dog on a winter morning, I figured some changes needed to be made ... but I did the calculation that all expats in Delhi do and concluded that I would never get what I needed and would really only waste two hours in the process, so I suffered through the night dozing in and out of sleep and bitching in between.
I woke up, brushed my teeth, re-donned my stylish, hospital scrubs and was whisked off to have a CT Cardio Angiogram. I had, once again been fasting since the night before, so I was feeling tired, cold and hungry which is a lethal combination when combined with ambiguity and large needles, but I got myself focused and took my place on the table. For those of you that do not know the details of a CT Cardio Angiogram, it is a scan of your heart. Simple, right? Eh, not so much. Firstly it is a scan, but they need to inject you with a solution, so they can actually see how well your heart is pumping the blood through your veins. The nurse through out a few warnings during the orientation speech such as “if you feel discomfort" or “if you feel itchy.” I heard, “if your heart explodes” or “if you have a fatal reaction the solution.” Anyway, apparently my pulse never got below the required limit, so they sent me back to the waiting area where several potent drugs were administered to slow my pulse rate and relax me. They certainly did and the rest is pretty much a blur. Where the hell were these drugs yesterday for the MRI – Would have gone a lot smoother, this I guarantee! The only thing I really remember is when they injected me with the solution, I was convinced I had just either been immersed in a warm bath or pee’d myself. None were true, but the sensation was pretty surreal. You could actually feel the solution move through your body warming it from the inside out as it flowed. Luckily, I was as drugged as Martian Sheen on a Friday night, so the experience was more of a cool new sensation, than disturbing. I finished the test and was sent to the suite for observation for another 30 minutes in case there was a reaction to the solution. They fed me breakfast, though, so I all was good!
When I finally sobered up, I was sent on another barrage of short and less traumatic tests including bone density, dental, hearing and penultimately an eye exam. Finally, we reached the last stop on the whistle tour. I was returned to my room for a consultation with the nutritionist who told me to eat less and more healthily. Really? I am so glad she could use her degree from the University of the Obvious (Punjabi Campus). I finished my nutrition discussion, signed a few papers, called my driver and ended the odyssey. All that is left now is the consultation with my assigned doctor next Wednesday morning where I will be told the results.
In retrospect, it is actually a pretty good program. The room was decent and they got me through a lot of medical work that in the states would have taken a month and a bag-load of money. Indian hospital workers are not as warm and personable as you would expect and they find little humor in sarcasm. They do, though, try their level best to attend to your every need. The best part of the deal was it was all really at your pace. You have a comfortable suite from which to conduct all of your excursions throughout the hospital and a personal consultant to organize all the appointments before you get there. You never had to recover in a waiting room and if you wanted anything from water to tea to snacks, they brought them to you ASAP. Best of all, you always butted the line when you showed up regardless of how long others were waiting.
On the other hand, it as still a hospital and an Indian one at that, so do not think I was hanging out at the spa at the Fairmont Scottsdale for two days. It is a place of medical business, so there were all sorts roaming around and the smells that follow. As well, it was neither comfortable, not quiet to stay the night. If I did again (will hell actually freeze over?), I would keep the suite, but go home at night to sleep.
As I said, I get my results on Wednesday, so until then, keep your fingers crossed that it is a clean bill of health!
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